if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
