And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
