My nipple is on Facebook.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
