i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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