so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
