Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
