How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
