She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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