So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize