Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
