things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
