im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
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Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize