so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
