what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
