I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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