I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
