I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can I color on your dick again?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
