I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
