i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
