Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
