babies were throwing up all over the place
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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