Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I deserve this hangover.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize