Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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