Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's never too late to be topless.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
