Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ttyl tear gas
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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