you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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