fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
