Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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