yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
