did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize