So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
