More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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