he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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