i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
