pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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