I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
