Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
