I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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