I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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