Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
