just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
