you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
