I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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