I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
