How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
