So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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