I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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