You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
