my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just gift wrapped bread.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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