You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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