YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Life is so much better after having sex.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
