I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
