I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
