At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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