Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
