He is such a slut. More and more my type.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
