Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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