singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
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So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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