He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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