Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
