so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
