it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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