I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
BRING THE BAGELS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
