Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
