based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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