Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
